The hardest thing to do
by Nunashi's DreamBerry
Summary: well the title explains that yes it is a fan fic but I think it's realy good: Heero run's away from Dou to go to Relina simpily for peace. But then life get's complicated as relina stars to clue in...


The Hardest Thing To Do  
  
Heero walked in to the dark room, to find himself caught up in the warm embrace. Heero felt the tears start to flow down his face, could he really go through with this. "I've missed you," came the soft almost silent whisper. Heero just let himself collapse into the boys arms, he knew what he had to do.  
  
We both know that I shouldn t be here  
  
This is wrong  
  
And baby it is killing me. Its killing you  
  
Both of us trying to be strong  
  
Heero pulled out of the embrace and looked at the ground. "What s wrong?" Asked the other boy  
  
I've got some where else to be  
  
Promises to keep  
  
Someone else who loves me  
  
And trusts me fast asleep  
  
Heero looked up into those huge violet eyes over flowing with affection. He resisted the urge to fall back into those strong arms. "Dou" he whispered  
  
I ve made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She s been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
Heero couldn't hold it back the tears started to come again, yet he wouldn't take the arms that where so ready to hold him.  
  
It s the hardest thing  
  
I' ll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye  
  
And tell you I don t love you  
  
Heero looked up at the other boy. "You know it would be better... " Dou reached to hold the weeping boy but before he could touch him Heero was on his feet and slowly walking away. "It... I don t... Don t ever...good bye Dou I don t ever want to see you again!" With that Heero started running.  
  
It s the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion  
  
When you start to cry  
  
Dou felt the tears well up in his eyes could Heero really mean it? "Heero" he stammered "This is already hard enough.." yelled Heero "Please don t make it any harder."  
  
I can t let you see  
  
What you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heats no free  
  
Were not meant to be  
  
Heero felt like his feet where tied to rocks every step was a blow to his conscience. With every foot fall he remembered  
  
It s the hardest thing  
  
I ll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away  
  
Pretending I don t love you  
  
Heero looked back and wished he hadn't. A single glance showed Dou falling to his knees as the truth sunk in. Could he really go through with it could he really survive without... But there was no choice his mind was made up.  
  
I know that we ll meet again  
  
fate has a place and time  
  
So you can get on with your life  
  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
  
Heero kept running as his eyes full of tears blurred his vision. He tripped and flew He rolled down in the ditch and cried.  
  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
  
All my love I ll be sending  
  
Cause there can be no happy ending  
  
Mud had splattered his face and cloths but he didn t even notice as he pulled himself up and ran.  
  
Maybe another time another day  
  
as much as I want to. I can t stay  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
Heero Didn t even notice where he was going nor did he care all he wanted to do is run maybe he could outrun his feelings for Dou at that thought he got a clear picture of the boy in his head, Agh  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She s been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
And once again there was his smiling face just happy for the moment to see Heero there with him, Heero couldn't stand it any longer.  
  
It s the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye  
  
And tell you I don t love you  
  
It s the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion  
  
When you start to cry  
  
Heero rounded a corner and realized where he was, he slipped into a down stairs window and got changed into some clean cloths and climbed into bed sleep just wouldn't come to him, he heard a nock at the door, "Heero, What s wrong are you crying?" asked a quiet voice.  
  
I can t let you see  
  
What you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heats no free  
  
Were not meant to be  
  
"Nothing," he said as he got up, I really don t understand anything right now I m going out. and he pushed past the girl and went out side.  
  
It s the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away  
  
Pretending I don t love you  
  
The next morning Heero found himself awakened by the sound of cars, he opened his eyes and held his head in his hands major hang over he thought what had been bothering him so much to drink like that? He stood up and started towards Dou s house, but suddenly it came as almost a shock he remembered what he had done last night and he slowly turned around, a single tear glistening in his cheek and walked the other way.  
  
  
  
Editor's Note: the fic was supposed to end here but. it was to D4mn sad so I had to write more.  
  
Dou hadn't eaten for a week strange he didn't even feel hungry. He didn't even feel any thing but the emotions that threatened to take over his whole being. Dou starred at the bright screen and tried to focus on the song printed out in front of him. He saw the signal blinking in the corner of his screen *Cherokee and send to a friend*. Dou quickly printed out the song and clicked the icon. He scrolled through the songs and found the song that he had been looking for. he clicked on it and listened as the music flowed through him and for a moment that piece of his heart didn't feel so empty. The song ended and he was left with the quietness again. Dou felt for the mouse and just clicked. He didn't even notice he had clicked on the record button. He listened to the song and sang as the melody faded:  
  
You sheltered me from harm you kept me warm...  
  
and nobody else could ever know that part of me that cant let go...  
  
I would give everything I own...  
  
Give up my life my heart my home...  
  
just to have you back again...  
  
Dou shut off the computer not even noticing the window -message sent- he went into another restless sleep.  
  
Relena's brain was working over load. Why did Heero never come out of his room? He used to sneak out at night and ever since he had stopped he had been really unhappy. Now that she thought about it ever since that night he had proposed he had been unhappy. Well there was no way she was marrying him in this state. " _____," she said seeing the elder man in the hall, "I need you to get Heero out of the house for a few hours."  
  
"At your service," came the answer.  
  
Relena creped into Heero's room and slipped into his chair. He had left his computer on this would make it a lot easier. Relena checked Heero's already entered e-mail. She read through the names boring peace negotiations Relena thought until she saw Quatre's name. She clicked on the name and a screen popped up:  
  
Heero you can't keep running from your feelings forever you know. believe me I ran for a while too.  
  
Relena was really confused feelings? could this be what Heero had been so down about? She scrolled down the list of names and saw Heero had a new message it was from Dou she opened it. As soon as the window opened the song started up:  
  
" Is there some one you know..."  
  
So Heero had been sneaking out for a reason! And by the sound of it Dou had been thrown away... She felt a tear fall down her cheek and quickly brushed it away. Ok so she was a fool for music and he had such a sweet voice the words still echoed through her head:  
  
" Is there some one you  
  
know your loving them so  
  
but taking them all for granted"  
  
Relena couldn't stand it she grabbed the mouse and deleted the e- mail. She logged off  
  
"You may lose them some day  
  
someone takes them away and  
  
they don t here the words you  
  
long to say..."  
  
Relena ran to her room and slammed the door. She through herself onto her bed and cried how could she ever think that Heero had ever loved her? Peace was that the only reason? Couldn't they come to peace by other means? Surely it was possible. If there was one thing she had learned it was simply that with Heero anything was possible. Relena flipped over onto her back Heero She whispered.  
  
Heero nearly fell over when he heard that Relena wasn't coming to supper. She hadn't lost one second of time that she could use talking his ear off. He had almost burst out crying in front of her yesterday. But he had to go through with it Peace was always the ultimate objection.  
  
After supper he went up to his bed room as usual but on the way he went past Relena's room, and stopped was that faint sobbing he heard or was it just his imagination.  
  
"Relena," he said quietly as he knocked on the door "What s wrong why are you crying?"  
  
"Nothing," she said, "I really don t understand anything right now I'm going out." She opened the door and Relena with her tear streaked face pushed her way past Heero, Heero grabbed her arm as she went by.  
  
"Relena?" he asked trying to see what was wrong, but she wouldn't even look at him, she tore away from his grasp and hurried on out into the rain.  
  
Dou stared through the darkness at the stack of papers that had piled up on his desk. He picked up the top one and read it to himself he sighed and turned it over he pulled the pen out of his hair and quickly scribbled:  
  
Love is a hearts wonder  
  
Longing is when it s at loss  
  
Living is reason for breathing  
  
This reason have not  
  
Need is the reason I kneed you  
  
Peace is the reason I stay  
  
Love is the reason I m longing  
  
Your's the reason its grey,  
  
He crumpled up the paper he was becoming all soft and sad he had to be strong. He walked out the door and onto the streets it was raining and his hair was coming out of its braid, He pushed it out of his face and looked up to see a slight figure restling with a larger one. He knew instantly who it was.  
  
Hey Maybe you should pick on some one your own size, he called to the larger of the figures. He took a step forward and let go on\f the girl who instinctively ran a little ways off.  
  
Well, well, what do we have here a runt who thinks he s super something. The man said cracking his knuckles.  
  
Dou ignored this and said "Relena run," but the girl stood her ground.  
  
The large man launched himself at Dou, but Dou dug out of the way and kicked hi from behind. Dou had the skill and agility here but if this man pinned him he was done for. Another quick escape and then one not so lucky he felt the wind escape him as he was knocked to the ground. Dou herd a sickening crunch then there was searing pain though his leg, he had felt pain like this before and knew it was broken.  
  
"Relena run!" he yelled again twisting his head to see the girl, Relena didn't run though and he could now see why she was posed gun in hand rain drenched her hair was soaken and her cloths had stuck to her every feature with the rain, Dou looked in wonder she was beautiful maybe even he though good enough for Heero she had the money to support him too.  
  
Get away from him, Dou almost saw fire in her eyes, the man got up and ran and Dou hardly suppressed a laugh.  
  
"I thought you where all against guns and Stuff like that?" he laughed  
  
Relena snorted, "You kidding you want to know how many times people try to assassinate me in a day."  
  
Dou grinned maybe they could put Heero aside for a while and talk like normal people, "So what brings you to this part of town by your self?" He asked  
  
"Later right now you kneed out of the rain and some one to fix that foot of yours."  
  
"Yah," Dou replied "I guess you are right, Come on my place isn't far come I'll get you some dry cloths.  
  
Relena helped Dou up and supported him as much as she could as they walked back to Dou's house. Relena was surprised to see that he was actually pretty light and thin yet surprisingly strong... Like Heero she thought than quickly put him out of her mind and concentrated on getting Dou home.  
  
  
  
TBC I'll add more to this after here's a sneek preview:  
  
"I knew my part in this anyway and it s not with him Dou yelled back surprised at his voice."  
  
"How do you know," came the quiet reply "He's been miserable since you left." 


End file.
